How do I do teshuva for damage to an unknown party? Rabbanit Chanital Ofan
Tishrei 5784 | September 2023
Topic : Yamim Noraim , Shayla ,
She'ela
I accidentally scratched another car when I was leaving a parking lot. I wanted to write a note with my information, but the other car drove off before I could. I don’t know how I can fix the situation or atone for my mistake since “Yom Kippur does not atone for sins between one person and another until they appease their fellow.” Is there some way for me to do teshuva?
Responder’s note: This question applies to other situations as well, like someone who sinned when they were younger and repents as an adult, someone who mishandled communal funds and does not know who they embezzled from and how to return the funds…
I accidentally scratched another car when I was leaving a parking lot. I wanted to write a note with my information, but the other car drove off before I could. I don’t know how I can fix the situation or atone for my mistake since “Yom Kippur does not atone for sins between one person and another until they appease their fellow.” Is there some way for me to do teshuva?
Responder’s note: This question applies to other situations as well, like someone who sinned when they were younger and repents as an adult, someone who mishandled communal funds and does not know who they embezzled from and how to return the funds…
Teshuva
This teshuva is dedicated l’ilui nishmat Hillel Nechemia, my beloved son who fell sanctifying God’s name on the Av 27, 5783, when fulfilling his duty training in the IDF’s Yahalom unit. Hillel was a student of Aharon, “Loving peace, pursuing peace, loving all God’s creations, and bringing them close to the Torah.” He was attentive and had a smile for everyone.
Repenting for interpersonal sins
The specifics of your question present quite a conundrum. The mishna in Yoma differentiates between a person’s transgressions against God that Yom Kippur can atone for and “one person’s transgressions against their fellow, that Yom Kippur can’t atone for until they appease their fellow.”[1] Based on the verse, “from all your sins before the Lord, you will be purified,” Rabbi Eliezer ben Azaria learns that Yom Kippur only atones for sins committed “before the Lord.”[2]
In Hilkhot Teshuva Rambam rules accordingly, bringing several examples of interpersonal sins such as “someone who injured their fellow or cursed their fellow or stole from them, and the like, can never be forgiven until they give what they owe to their fellow and appease them. Even if one returned the money they owe, they must still appease the other and ask for their forgiveness.”[3]
Rosh teaches that one must ask for this forgiveness before Yom Kippur and brings several examples of Talmudic sages doing so before the auspicious day.[4] He emphasizes the importance of making peace and of forgiveness, “so that the heart of Israel can be whole, each individual and their fellow, so that the Satan (prosecuting angel) has no room to argue against them.” This idea is based on an aggadata in Pirkei d’Rabbi Eliezer that relates that Sama-el is unable to prosecute Israel when he can’t find a sin among them. The aggadata compares the state of Israel on Yom Kippur to that of angels, concluding “just as there is peace between the ministering angels, Israel [is at peace with one another] on Yom Kippur.” This is the halakhic consensus and the ruling in Tur and Shulkhan Arukh.[5]
When you do not know who to repay
We’ve established that it’s impossible to atone for a sin without recompense and forgiveness. Is it possible that there are times there’s no way to repair our past actions?! After all, our tradition tells us that the Holy One, blessed be He, carved out a place under the Throne of Glory to accept the teshuva of the worst evildoers and the gates of teshuva are not barred before them![6]
The Talmud deals with this question, albeit in a more limited context – regarding shepherds, gabbais (treasurers), and tax collectors.[7] These three positions offer those who hold them ample opportunity for corruption, and therefore they have an established reputation as suspected thieves.[8] Sheep often graze in privately owned fields, gabbais and tax collectors have access to public funds and can take money indiscriminately. The beraita declares that “teshuvatan kashot” – their repentance is difficult.
The Tosefta concludes that a thief must return what they stole to “mukarin” – when they know the identity of the wronged party. If they don’t know who they stole from “they use the funds for communal needs,” which Rav Chisda explains means providing pits, ditches, and caves – to collect water.
Rashi and Sefer Me’irat Einayim question this “solution” – how does using what was stolen for the communal good compensate the one who was robbed?[9] They explain that Rav Chisda directs the compensation to areas that benefit everyone by providing water, so that those who were robbed can benefit from the compensation. Pnei Moshe explains that this is the reason their “teshuva is difficult,” since there is no way to fully repay what was stolen and the only path to fix their mistake is to use what was stolen for communal needs.
It seems that the solution in this beraita pertains to people with a specific reputation. The gemara also relates that during the time of Rabbi Yehuda HaNassi the sages enacted “takanat hashavim” – an enactment for those who return – not to accept repayment from a thief, because it may prevent them from doing teshuva.
Rosh explains that this enactment only applies to known thieves who decide to repent of their own volition, and only when they no longer possess the original stolen object.[10] Tur does not mention whether the thief still has the original object.[11] Bach explains that when someone is not a reputed thief or career criminal they are obligated to return the value of the stolen item even when it no longer exists. Shulkhan Arukh agrees.[12]
Teshuva is “difficult” for them
The beraita determines that those who are reputed to be thieves “their teshuva is difficult.” This makes it seem that the path to teshuva is not easy in these cases, and it’s possible it can never be fully complete.
Rashi explains that the difficulty stems from the inability to identify who was robbed and must be repaid. How is this the case if the beraita presents them with a path to repayment? It seems that the difficulty is not in their actions, but the resolution; their teshuva is difficult because it’s not a perfect solution. Yad David explains that even though the person who was robbed can enjoy the communal works subsidized by their property, they have not had their items returned to them and may not benefit directly.[13]
Some of these statements seem inconsistent. Rabbi Yehuda HaNassi enacted “Takanat HaShavim” to make it easier for thieves to do teshuva by absolving them of the obligation to return what they stole. The beraita’s solution – to compensate known victims and use the money for public works when they are unknown – seems to contradict this enactment. The gemara resolves this by explaining that the beraita was composed before the enactment was made. The other explanation is that Takanat HaShavim only applies to situations where the victim can be identified, and, as Rosh explains, when the thief still has the original stolen object. Yet Tur and Shulkhan Arukh don’t limit it to cases when the thief still has the original stolen item. Which is it?
Responsa Levushei Mordechai explains that as a result of Takanat HaShavim the laws of Heaven no longer require a thief to return stolen goods, it’s enough if they truly feel regret in their heart.[14] Nevertheless, on a practical level we rule like the beraita and not like Rabbi Yehudah HaNassi. Yad David explains that because there is a realistic way to repay what is owed – an interpersonal path to repair the damage – heavenly atonement is insufficient.
Similarly, Atvan de-Oraita differentiates between “ones” (oh-ness) – uncontrollable circumstances – when one wrongs God and “ones” when one wrongs another person. The former does not require recompense, but since the latter involves injury in this world, where a person was harmed in some way, there must be a this-worldly solution.[15] Since one must make restitution to those they’ve wronged “their teshuva is difficult.”
Arukh HaShulkhan sees a different sort of problem. The issue is not how to return what is owed, but rather how to gain forgiveness. Even if one gives the funds to a project benefiting the community, the person who was robbed is not aware a crime was committed against them and is therefore unable to forgive the thief. How can one do teshuva without forgiveness?
He explains the solution of sponsoring projects for the communal good is not just about the technical aspect of repayment, it is based on the principle that “one who comes to purify themselves is granted help from the Heavens.” When the reformed thief does their part, God ensures that those who were robbed (or those who inherited their estate) will benefit to an extent commensurate with what was stolen from them and this will engender good feelings and cause them to forgive the thief. Yedid Nefesh, a commentary on the Jerusalem Talmud, specifically says that this is the meaning of “The Lord in His mercy will forgive them.”[16]
Forgiveness from the deceased
The Talmud Bavli, in Yoma, relates that someone who was unable to appease a person before they passed should gather ten people at the grave and say: “I sinned against the Lord, God of Israel, and so-and-so when I harmed them.” Shulkhan Arukh brings this as the halakha.[17]
Even after the injured party is no longer in this world we still have the opportunity to atone for our wrongdoing and seek forgiveness – even though the injured party is not around to forgive us, be mollified, or receive repayment.
Providing for communal needs and giving tzedaka
Yam Shel Shlomo teaches that the community project does not necessarily need to be “pits, ditches, and caves,” but any project or repair that serves communal needs.[18] Are there things outside of public works that benefit the community? Chashukei Chemed was asked if one could give tzedaka (charity) instead.[19] He cites the Talmudic statement that judges are not allowed to preside over the case of a person who has given tzedaka in their city, since they benefit from it.[20] Responsa Ohr Sameach infers from this that all residents benefit from tzedaka given in their city.[21] However now that most tzedaka organizations are not limited to a set community, there is no longer a direct link between giving tzedaka and the expenditures of other community members.
An obligation to forgive
Rambam, Kaf HaChaim, and Mishna Berura all rule that a person is obligated to forgive those who have hurt them. Even if the injury or damage is significant, we must forgive with a whole heart. Yet all these sources specifically refer to those times when the offender seeks forgiveness.[22] What if they don’t ask?
Rav Avraham Danzig composed Tefillat Zaka and included it in his book Chayei Adam. Those who say this prayer before Yom Kippur state: “Behold, I completely forgive anyone who has sinned against me.” This is not contingent on the offender asking for forgiveness, each person has the responsibility to forgive those who offended them. Chafetz Chaim also brings a long prayer which includes granting complete forgiveness to anyone who has sinned against us or hurt us.[23] Indeed, in the vidui we say before Kriyat Shema al ha’mita (before bed) we state: “Master of the Universe, hereby I forgive anyone who has angered me or sinned against me – physically, financially, or to anything that is mine…”
Practical halakha
When a person wrongs their fellow – steals or damages their money or property – and there is no possible way to repay this debt, the straightforward halakhic solution is to use the money they owe for a project that benefits the “communal good,” since this will benefit the individual wronged party as well and can constitute a form of repayment. Nowadays, when communities are less clearly defined and there’s more mobility, it’s possible that the wronged party lives in another area entirely. Therefore, it seems that tzedaka is the better option today. In this case if one wants to do teshuva they should take the amount of money they would owe in damages and give it to the needy.
We must have faith that there is no reality where a person is barred from doing teshuva. We must trust that God will find us a way, revealed or hidden, so that we can repair what we have damaged and merit teshuva through love, teshuva that turns even our intentional wrongdoings into something good (zednot l’zekhuyot).[24]
Faith in teshuva
The Talmud Yerushalmi questions a contradiction in the verse in Psalms, “The Lord is good and just, therefore He shows sinners the way.”[25] If God acts with justice then sinners should be punished – how is there room for teshuva?! The discussion ends: “They asked the Holy One, blessed be He: What is the punishment for a sinner? He said to them: They shall do teshuva and achieve atonement. As it says, ‘Therefore He shows sinners the way,’ He guides sinners on the path to teshuva.”
Pirkei Avot speaks of sins that a person can’t do teshuva for, like someone who causes many people to sin. Perek Chelek in Sanhedrin brings a list of people who do not have a portion in the World to Come because they caused the multitude to sin.[26] Yet Rabbi Yehuda contradicts them with the statement that King Menashe, one of the greatest sinners, merited to do teshuva. The Talmud Yerushalmi relates that the ministering angels tried to prevent the acceptance of his teshuva, yet God carved out a place beneath the Throne of Glory to accept it.[27]
In Orot HaTeshuva, Rav Avraham Yitzchak HaCohen Kook writes:[28]
“A person should not be scared of the obstacles they face doing teshuva. Even if teshuva is difficult because of interpersonal matters, and even if one knows they have not fulfilled their obligation, and because of some weakness they can’t repair things between themselves and their fellows, they should not leave room for any weak-minded opinions that minimize the precious value of teshuva in their heart. There is no doubt that when one fulfills everything that is not obstructed, the Holy One, blessed be He, will enable them to repair all those things that are greatly obstructed that they can’t overcome.”
In several places he emphasizes that one should never refrain from teshuva, even though there are challenges and obstacles in the way. “We must accept the enlightenment of teshuva as a purifying and sanctifying substance that will not leave because of the delays of incomplete teshuva.”[29]
We must hold fast to Rabbi Akiva’s statement and blessing that concludes Massekhet Yoma:[30]
“Blessed are you Israel! Before whom are you purified? And who purifies you? You Father in Heaven, as it says (Yechezkel 36), ‘I will cast purifying waters on you and you will be purified,’ and it says (Yirmiyahu 17), ‘The Lord is the mikvah of Israel.’ Just as a mikvah purifies the unclean, so too the Holy One, blessed be He, purifies Israel.”
Footnotes
[1] Yoma 8:9
[2] Vayikra 16:30
[3] 2:9
[4] Piskei Rosh on Yoma 8:24. TB Yoma 87b: “Rabbi Chanina had an issue with him [Rav] and went to him twelve times before Yom Kippur and he would not be appeased.” The gemara also relates that Rav went to appease a butcher he had an issue with (this story ends in tragedy)..
[5] Shulkhan Arukh OC 606; Ra’aviya II Yoma 528; Sefer HaChinuch Mitzva 364; Sefer Ohr Zarua II Hilkhot Yom HaKippurim 277; Sefer Kol Bo 69 “od zot”.
[6] TY Sanhedrin 10:2
[7] Tosefta Bava Metzia (Lieberman) 8:26; TB Bava Kama 94b; TY Bava Metzia 6:4.
[8] TY Shvuot 7:4 (Sanhedrin 3:5)
[9] Rashi “Borot sikhin u’me’arot”; Sefer Me’irat Einayim 366:5; Be’er HeiTeiv 5.
[10] Piskei HaRosh on Bava Kama 9:2
[11] Choshen Mishpat 366
[12] Paragraph 2
[13] Bava Kama ibid
[14] Yoreh De’ah 97
[15] HaGaon Rabbi Yosef Engel Klal 13. In Sefer Sha’ashu’ay Ra’ayonim, Kuntras Derekh HaChaim Klal 1 he writes that there are interpersonal mitzvot that have a “purpose” – someone who was stolen from incurs actual loss and part of the mitzvah is to fix what was corrupted.
[16] Choshen Mishpat 366:3
[17] 606:2; Mishna Berura ibid 14; Kaf HaChaim ibid 40.
[18] Bava Kama 9:3
[19] TB Bava Batra 43a
[20] 43a
[21] 2:47 – When people who are needy receive help it alleviates some responsibility from other community members. Chashukei Chemed limits this to occasions when the community is obligated to help the poor.
[22] Rambam Hilkhot Teshuva 2:10; Kaf HaChaim 606:27, 28, 34; Mishna Berura ibid 8, 9.
[23] Machaneh Yisrael 1:39. This forgiveness does not erase monetary debts that can be recovered through the Beit Din (Mishna Berura 1), but one can also forgive such debts.
[24] TB Yoma 86b in the name of Reish Lakish.
[25] TY Makkot 2:6; Tehillim 25:8.
[26] Avot 8:18; Sanhedrin 10:2.
[27] Ibid.
[28] Chapter 13
[29] Chapter 17
[30] 8:9