Music and Bein HaMetzarim Rabbanit Debbie Zimmerman

The prohibition against listening to music during Bein HaMetzarim is both widely accepted and also widely debated. Widely accepted in that halakhic authorities and observant Jews generally accept some limitations on listening to music during some of Bein HaMetzarim. What is widely debated is the details – what kind of music is prohibited, at what point, under what circumstances…?

Limiting joy or pleasure?

We’ve previously discussed the basic ideas behind the laws and customs of Bein HaMetzarim – the period of mourning leading up to Tisha B’Av.^[2] There we discussed the nature of the activities prohibited in this time period. The mishna states: “When Av enters, we diminish joy.” Later halakhic authorities debate if we only avoid joyous activities and celebrations, or if we should also limit fun and pleasure. We concluded that even though some halakhic authorities called for avoiding such activities, this is not the widespread custom.^[3]

The origin of the prohibition

There is a widespread custom not to listen to music during this period. The source of this custom is complicated, as it was not possible to listen to pre-recorded music when the customs of mourning were first codified, and music was generally reserved for special occasions, such as weddings. This music generally also involved dancing.

In accordance with the gemara and longstanding, widespread custom, Shulchan Arukh prohibits getting married in this time period. He allows people to get engaged so they don’t miss the opportunity, but not to celebrate the betrothal with a seudah (a meal).^[4]

Magen Avraham breaks down the different aspects of this prohibition and permission, explaining that the basis here is the element of simcha (joy). One may get engaged, but they may not celebrate the engagement with a meal. He adds that in his opinion dancing is forbidden from the 17^th of Tammuz, apparently even if it is not attached to a specific celebration.^[5]

As we will see, this Magen Avraham is often cited as the basis of the ruling prohibiting music in this time period. Was this his intention?

Magen Avraham’s next comment discusses the custom not to trim nails in this period, like one in mourning for a close relative: “In my opinion this is not necessary, for this is like something done in private, and Tisha B’Av is more lenient than [the customs of] a mourner [for a relative] in regards to private mourning.”^[6]

It seems Magen Avraham was focused on public or social joyous activities. At this time dancing was something done in groups and was closely associated with celebrations. The music was live. While Magen Avraham is one of several opinions that expand the custom of refraining from getting married to include other forms of celebration, and specifically those that involve music and dance, we shouldn’t assume he would limit listening to pre recorded music in private or without dancing.

Rav Soloveitchik compares this first stage of mourning to the 12 months of mourning after a parent dies. In this period, one refrains from social gatherings with friends and acquaintances, even those that do not include music. If we read Magen Avraham in this light, he seems focused on avoiding happy social events, and not music itself. Listening to music privately is not prohibited.

Music after the Temple’s destruction

Yet another, perhaps more widespread tradition, focuses on music itself. The gemara states:

“They sent to Mar Ukva: How do we know that song is forbidden? He scored [the parchment] and wrote to them: ‘Israel, do not rejoice to exultation among the nations.’

He should have sent from here: ‘Do not drink wine in song, strong drink is bitter to those who drink it.’

If [he had derived the law] from that [verse] I would say this refers to the song of instruments, but from the mouth it is permitted, so he taught this [singing is also forbidden].”^[7]

Mar Ukva teaches that after the destruction of the Temple and the exiles, both instrumental music and singing are forbidden. The mishna in Sota discusses a more specific practice against singing in taverns.^[8] The gemara there allows for sailors to sing, but speaks harshly about women who sing while they weave. Why?

Rashi explains that if the singing is done to keep time or enable work to get done it is permitted, but if it is merely for amusement it is not.^[9] Even though the verses in the mishna and gemara generally seem to refer to rejoicing, the gemara in Sota indicates there’s a problem with frivolous, lighthearted singing, or singing for enjoyment. It’s possible these opinions limit music because it brings or enhances joy, and this should be limited as long as the Shekhina (Divine Presence that rests in the Temple) and the Jewish people are in exile.

Another explanation is that this is one of a series of customs curtailing enjoyment of elements of the Temple service after it was destroyed. The gemara teaches that people stopped eating meat and drinking wine after the Second Temple was destroyed. Rabbi Yehoshua said to them: “My son, come and I will tell you. We can’t refrain from all mourning, because the decree has been made, but we can’t mourn too much, because we do not make a decree on the public that most of the public can’t observe.”^[10]

Rabbi Yehoshua encourages these pious people to find a balance between recognizing and mourning what was lost and continuing to live. He doesn’t tell these people they are wrong; he says their position is not sustainable for most people. The gemara continues by describing ways people can balance between grief and living – such as leaving part of one’s home unfinished or removing a piece of jewelry.

The gemara clearly rejects the position that we should completely refrain from eating meat and drinking wine. Yet this practice does find its place in the mourning period leading up to Tisha B’Av.^[11]

The gemara dismisses a long-term ban on meat and wine, but does not bring a similar challenge to Mar Ukva’s statement prohibiting music. Nevertheless, widespread custom clearly shows that even stringently observant people listen to music and sing sometimes. Are there general limits on music throughout the year? Was this type of mourning also limited to Bein HaMetzarim?

Stringent opinions

Halakhic authorities debate if there is a general prohibition against listening to music (with instruments or just voices singing) or a more limited prohibition against certain types of music in certain venues such as taverns. Some do not mention general limits on music or greatly limit the application to bawdy songs over alcohol. Others, such as Rambam and Shulkhan Arukh, mention a wider limit on the type of music that is allowed year-round.^[12]

These halakhic positions are not practiced widely, although some people are careful to limit music to prayer, praising God, and mitzvah celebrations such as weddings. Consequently, Rav Moshe Feinstein questions whether it is ever appropriate to listen to music – even from the radio. He therefore rules that even those who generally permit listening to music should not listen at all during Sefira and Bein HaMetzarim, even in private, and adds that one should be stringent about this law, even though we are generally lenient with rabbinic prohibitions.^[13]

Rav Ovadia Yosef and Rav Eliezer Waldenberg also prohibited listening to music throughout the mourning period, and the latter explicitly includes acapella music in the prohibition.^[14] Yet they also note some exceptions, such as for making a living. Indeed, Pri Megadim rules that dancing is prohibited, even if it’s not celebrating a betrothal, but: “A Jew who makes a living playing music in a non-Jew’s tavern – it seems that it’s permitted to be make a living.”^[15]

Consequently, Rav Eliezer Waldenberg allows practicing and teaching music until shavua shechal bo.^[16] On the other hand, Rav Moshe Feinstein does not allow practicing if it is purely for personal enjoyment, and not to make a living.^[17] And general halakhic consensus allows professional musicians to play weddings until Rosh Chodesh.^[18]

Rav Ovadia Yosef adds more exceptions, reminiscent of the exceptions Rambam, Shulkhan Arukh, and Rema listed to the year-round prohibition. He allows for singing without instruments for a mitzvah – such as prayer, Torah study, and praising God, based on the verse “Ivdu et Hashem b’simcha, bo’u l’fanav bi’rnana,”“Serve the Eternal with joy, come before Him singing”.^[19] He also allows those who customarily do so to hire musicians for mitzvah celebrations that are allowed in this time period, such as a Bar Mitzvah, Brit Mila, or the Sheva Brachot meals in the week following a wedding.^[20]

Minimizing prohibited music

Other opinions make further distinctions based on the type of music or its purpose. Rav Shlomo Daichovsky returns to the original Magen Avraham we saw and points out that he never prohibits music, but rather dancing. Mishna Berura also prohibits dancing, not music.^[21] Therefore he rules that if it is not dance music or particularly upbeat, one may listen to music until Rosh Chodesh, and after that, through the Nine Days, one may listen to sad music that reflects the mood of the period.^[22]

Rabbi Nachum Rabinovitch brings a similar opinion to avoid not just dance music, but all happy or celebratory music during Bein HaMetzarim.^[23] Rav Zalman Melamed agrees that only happy music is prohibited, bringing support from a custom to bring musicians to play dirges for funeral processions to evoke grief.^[24] He therefore encourages people to use music to evoke appropriate feelings – to listen to mournful and reflective music during Bein HaMetzarim and to play music on Friday afternoons and Motzei Shabbat to help facilitate the transition from mourning to the sanctity of Shabbat.

Rav Melamed is also among those who permit using music for exercise. When the music is upbeat and the exercise is dancing, such as Zumba, Rav Melamed permits it until Rosh Chodesh, and suggests changing something, like lowering the volume, so there is a recognizable change in the atmosphere.